A Barrel of Coffee

According to ancient lore, 16th century monks trained their companion dogs to serve as rescue animals. They would strap barrels of Brandy around their necks and send them out to find and rescue unlucky travelers gone astray. The survivors would then drink the alcohol to stay warm while waiting to be rescued.

Now you’re probably thinking why would she possibly be thinking this? But as I pulled into the parking lot at work, a panic washed over me. Not only was it my official first day back, but I also had to conquer two flights of stairs with an extra large coffee and a cane in tow. How the hell was I going to do this? Simple, I would take a cue from the monks and somehow fashion a contraption to strap around my neck to hold my coffee. It wasn’t that crazy of an idea! But I’m no MacGyver, so that quickly came and went. And really, who was I kidding?

As luck would have it, there are some pretty amazing people that work in my office building. I have been learning slowly that it is okay to ask for help and I have learned the hard way of what happens when I try to overexert myself or push too hard. I picked up my phone and dialed a friend, or as I like to jokingly call him, Matt, my personal coffee chauffeur. He met me outside grabbed my coffee and off to the stairs we go!

Half way up the first flight of stairs I could feel the heat vents blasting on me. Oh shit, here we go again— f*cking Sahara Desert time. As I have previously wrote about, our landlord turns the heat way down on the weekends to Arctic temperatures, but during the week it is set to a sweltering 74 degrees- which we can’t change. I thought, I am just gonna collapse and camp out here on the steps.

Oh—how a barrel of Brandy would be great right about now.

I finally made it to the top after a few short breaks and a lot of cursing. The heat makes everything worse for me. It literally stops me dead in my tracks. For example, I thought I was going to literally drop to the ground stepping into the bathroom while my boyfriend was in the shower from the steam. So add physical activity to it and I turn to sloth mode. As soon as I got into the office I blasted our stand alone AC unit to a cool 65. I need to get one of those cooling vests or I am going to give someone hypothermia. Luckily for me, my boss likes it cold too.

I haven’t mentioned my boss before, but he definitely deserves a huge shout out for being so supportive and so understanding through this entire ordeal. He was on vacation for my first day back, so he wanted me to be as comfortable as possible and boy he didn’t disappoint! At my desk was an array of healthy snacks, a little case of 5 hour energy shots, diet soda, you name it and it was there. I once again found myself crying at how incredibly grateful I was to have such a wonderful support system. There’s a reason I have worked here for 16 years. Sorry to say people, but I truly do have the best boss a woman could ever ask for. And you if think different, meet me in the parking lot or stair landing, depending on how far I get.

I have been making it from 9:00 am to noon every day. Which is a huge accomplishment for me! After a few hours my brain fog sets in and then the knock you out tiredness visits. I am learning the first signs of this, so that way I can leave before it overtakes me. The last day I pushed too hard and I found myself in my car, in my work parking lot, crying hysterically from exhaustion and pain. Little by little I will work my way up. I know I can do it!

I made it through the week without a barrel of Brandy, but I sure could use a barrel of coffee.